xankriegor@vandal

Publicado: 21:15 02/01/2009 · Etiquetas: , , , , , · Categorías: Humor : Música
Pues ahí van unos videos relacionados a esta genial canción de Daft Punk. A disfrutar






Publicado: 22:51 03/11/2007 · Etiquetas: , , , · Categorías: Variedades
Estaba yo viendo unos screenshots de los usuarios de Arch Linux, y encuentro uno que tiene el escritorio vacío, pero de fondo tenía a una señorita impactante. Le pregunté dónde había conseguido esa imagen y me respondió con un link a un foro en inglés, donde se discutía sobre cuál era la mujer con la cara más bella y va uno y suelta la foto diciendo "Just a Friend".



El cabello, esa sonrisa...el reflejo del sol en su sudoroso cuerpo, esos vellos dorados en el abdomen. ¿Hace falta decir más?

Creo que gran parte del encanto es la informalidad o naturalidad de la foto. Si fuera una de esas actrices maquilladas por todos lados, photoshopeadas, en situaciones preparadas, supongo que no me hubiera impactado tanto.

Sé que hay de todos los gustos y está lejos de ser perfecta, pero sin duda entra en mi lista de diosas junto a Alizeé Jacotey, Melissa Theuriau (ésta si que roza la perfeccion) y Kate Beckinsale.

Saludos

Publicado: 15:06 30/10/2007 · Etiquetas: , , · Categorías: Variedades
Anoche me he puesto con el nuevo The GIMP (2.4) a hacer una cabecera de prueba para el blog. Vale acotar que yo soy muy malo para estas cosas, pero era algo que "tenía que, al menos, intentar". En mi opinión, no ha quedado tan fea, aunque puede que el mensaje les suene a muchos pasteloso y utópico (que lo es). Quería hacerla relacionada al software libre y ésto es lo que se me ha ocurrido, para no dejarla vacía.

Tal vez, y si no me expulsan por mal gusto, siga ahora con el logo y con algo para poner de fondo. El tiempo lo dirá.

Por supuesto, se aceptan críticas y sugerencias

Publicado: 20:28 27/10/2007 · Etiquetas: , · Categorías: Humor
Fuente

A continuación, como resultado de un objetivo estudio de ambos sistemas(Ubuntu Linux y Windows XP), le enumeraré algunos de los principales argumentos a favor de la idea de que Windows XP es un sistema operativo muy superior a Linux en entornos empresariales:

   * En las reuniones matinales entorno a la máquina de café se habla de los últimos virus sufridos por todo el mundo, menos usted por ser usuario de Linux, y se siente por ello marginado.

   * La ausencia de estrés y de cabreos enfurecedores delante de su ordenador le está convirtiendo en una blanda, plácida y sebosa bola de grasa, mientras que sus compañeros se mantienen tensos y alerta todo el día, estallando en un torbellino irascible a la menor ocasión. Usted envidia su combatividad.

   * Al no tener que recordar números de serie, claves, keywords , códigos de registro y períodos de evaluación, su memoria se está deteriorando preocupantemente. Sus compañeros, en cambio, recuerdan cientos de útiles y vitales códigos de registro, los cuales intercambian placenteramente, sin que usted pueda participar de su gozo.

   * La falta de impactantes pantallazos azules está atrofiando el pigmento azul de su retina, por lo que su oculista le ha recomendado que mire fijamente durante varias horas al día al logotipo de IBM. Sus compañeros, en cambio, han hiperdesarrollado su pigmento azul y pueden, de hecho, ver en la oscuridad.

   * En caso de una invasión de seres extraterrestres ultraviolentos (como sucede a menudo) , no podrá, tal como ocurre en “Independence Day”, instalar Outlook en la nave principal de los invasores y de este modo destruir su civilización.

   * Al ser usted usuario de Linux no tiene ninguna excusa para reiniciar su ordenador docenas de veces al día, y observa con envidia como sus compañeros conversan amigablemente en los pasillos durante sus placenteros reinicios, mientras usted se ve obligado -injustamente- a ser productivo todo el tiempo.

   * El dinero que los demás emplean tan provechosamente en licencias, soportes, períodos de renovación y derechos de utilización, usted lo malgasta en ir al cine, en cenas, y en alcohol, lo cual está deteriorando su salud enormemente.

   * Al no ser usted usuario de Windows, ningún amigo le llama para que emplee toda una tarde del fin de semana en reinstalar su ordenador, de modo que se aburre mortalmente mientras sus compañeros disfrutan agradablemente de sus relaciones sociales.

   * Se ve obligado a leer todos los correos que le envía su jefe, sin tener acceso al derecho universal de uso de la utilísima frase “El Outlook no me deja abrirlo”, que sus compañeros tanto disfrutan.

   * El botón de reset de su ordenador está acumulando alarmantes cantidades de suciedad.

PD: Quinceañeras histéricas, por favor abstenerse de comentar. Sin embargo, se aceptan insultos directos, porque la entrada es bastante mala

Publicado: 19:08 16/05/2007 · Etiquetas: · Categorías: Variedades : Humor
Fuente

Como diría Nosgoroth:


“How do I look?”

What it really means: “Tell me I am attractive. Now.”
If there’s one thing human beings cannot stand, it’s the truth – and women are no exception. If your girlfriend walked out of the bathroom with her panties around her neck, mud rubbed in her hair and torn spandex pants, she’d still ask you how she looked and expect a complimentary response. In a way, she’s almost being generous – the boyfriend is given an easy excuse to earn brownie points by sycophantically praising his girlfriend’s physical attributes. Whether or not the boyfriend is lying through his teeth is irrelevant to the girlfriend.

How to deal with it:
Pretend to have your mind focused on something else for a second. Then look back at her, as if you just now realized she ask you something. The moment your eyes hit hers, suddenly act as if you have become overwhelmed with a wave of absolute astonishment – who is this beautiful woman, and how did she get here? Widen your eyes and try to look as childlike as possible, dumbfounded with amazement at her beauty.

These theatrics may seem unnecessary or silly, but one must realize that a simple “you look great” will result in nothing more than an argument and a likely denial of sex for the next 24 hours. If a woman deems it necessary to ask you how she looks, then she’s obviously spent some degree of effort on her appearance, and wants to be rewarded with an unusually positive reaction to it.

“Do you think she’s pretty?”

What it really means: “Prove to me you aren’t attracted to other women.”
Typically asked in reference to a female celebrity or supermodel, your woman is feeling insecure about the fact that many, many women on the planet are most likely more attractive than her. She needs you to show that “mainstream” attractive women hold no interest for you, because otherwise she cannot consider herself the most attractive woman in your life – if the whole of society agrees that they’d cut off four fingers if it meant they’d get to sleep with Angelina Jolie, then your stated lack of attraction toward her means that you find your girlfriend more doable than Lara Croft herself.

It’s complicated, but can be summarized like this:

-Everybody thinks Scarlett Johansson is gorgeous.

-If you think Scarlett Johansson is gorgeous, then that also means you think Scarlett Johansson is more attractive than your girlfriend, thus making your girlfriend feel less special than Scarlett Johansson.

-If your girlfriend thinks you don’t think Scarlett Johansson is gorgeous, then your girlfriend can continue to operate under the assumption that she is the most gorgeous woman in your life and that you are lucky to have her.

How to deal with it:
There are a dozen ways to handle this question, most of them pretty straightforward (“No” is the shortest and easier to remember), but this question presents a fantastic chance to subtly show your girlfriend how much you really care about her.

When she asks the question, only refer to the celebrity in question by drawing comparisons between her and your girlfriend. For example:

“Do you think Eva Mendes is pretty?”

“Well, she’s got sort of a nice body, but she doesn’t have your eyes.”

“I wasn’t asking whether or not she looks like me. I was asking whether you thought she’s pretty.”

“I don’t understand. I just told you she wasn’t pretty — she doesn’t have your eyes.”

She’ll pause for a minute, and then come to the realization that you are essentially using your girlfriend as the standard of beauty to which all other girls will be judged: she’ll be so flattered that she might manage to have long, arduous sex with you without crying once.

“Where do you want to go tonight?”

What it really means: “Read my mind.”
In all relationships, the time comes when the passion is over and done with, and the couple is required to actually go somewhere in an effort to stave off boredom. When that time comes, the relationship basically becomes one big game of 20 questions. Your girlfriend wants to go somewhere interesting, but she (A) wants to have nothing to do at all with where you end up, (B) wants to enjoy herself, and (C) wants you to pay for everything.

The problem, of course, is in actually guessing a destination that your girlfriend will enjoy. If you ask her what she’s in the mood for, you’ll either get a bullshit answer (“I dunno”) or she’ll tell you and immediately get irritated that you didn’t know her well enough to predict what she wanted.

How to deal with it:
Get a calendar. Every four days, make sure you have a different activity planned, and follow through with each day’s activity.

Alternatively, if she asks the question too many times just fill a bag with oranges and swing it around menacingly. “If you ask me that one more time,” you can say, “then this is what we’re doing tonight.”

“What are you thinking?”

What it really means: “Give me an excuse to yell at you.”
No woman, in the history of humankind, has ever given two shits about a man’s thoughts unless it involves him buying her something. Ever. So when she asks you “what are you thinking,” recognize it for the goddamn trap that it is.

There is literally no right answer to this question. If you say you’re thinking about her, she’ll know you’re lying. If you say what you’re really thinking about – usually about what a particular celebrity looks like naked – she’ll get angry. If you say something shallow (“Uh, nothing”), she’ll get angry that you aren’t deep, and if you say something deep, then she’ll feel like you’re totally full of shit.

And just so nobody accuses me of being Carlos Mencia/Eric Bauman, I know that Rondell Sheridan basically did a variation of this complaint during his standup routines.

How to deal with it:
Kiss her on the mouth, really really hard. With any luck, the pain will be enough that she’ll forget what she asked you, and you can go about your business as if nothing happened.

“How was your day?”

What it really means: “Ask me how my day was.”
To be fair, this is not an exclusively female question: wanting to talk about oneself is just as big a part of human nature as wanting to seem like you don’t actually want to talk to yourself. Every person who asks you how your day was may nod and smile, may kindly pretend to listen as you recount the monotonous, depressing sequence of shit that was your day, but they’re really just waiting you to get finished with your goddamn speech so they can tell you about how interesting their day was.

With girlfriends, the stakes are simply higher. If you don’t listen to a friend who tells you about their day, it doesn’t really matter. If you don’t listen to your girlfriend, then you better get used to masturbating alone for the next week and a half. Or buy roses. But fuck that — what’s a week and a half, anyway?

How to deal with it:
Make the summary of your day short and sweet so she can launch into her diatribe early and get it done quicker. You don’t really need to listen to the actual words she speaks so much as you need to watch her facial expressions. Women’s faces have a tendency to recreate the way they looked during specific parts of a story, and mimicking those facial expressions as she delivers them to you will make you seem like you are not only paying attention, but also extremely interested in her story.

“Don’t our married friends seem happy?”

What it really means: “I want to get married.”
Nine out of ten times the question won’t be phrased like this (or worse, it won’t be a question), but the basic idea remains: your girlfriend is ready for a commitment that no intelligent man should ever, ever want to engage in. The question might be somewhat forgivable if it was even halfway accurate: no, Diane, our married friends don’t seem happy. Rob’s wife definitely seems happy, considering she gets to turn nagging into a full-time job, but there’s a certain…deadness to Rob’s eyes that isn’t really indicative of jubilance.

How to deal with it:
RUN

“Do you love me?”

What it really means: “Lavish me with compliments or I’m leaving you.” OR “I am a clingy psychopath, please dump me.”
We’ve all dated that one chick who says “I love you” after two dates, and those are the chicks who most frequently ask this question. It’s tragic, really – psycho girls are so fun in short bursts, and yet all they want is a long-term commitment. They’re so cute and forgiving and nice and enthusiastic at the beginning of a relationship, but at the halfway point (which, with chicks like this, is usually about a week after you’ve met her) they just lose it. Dating and sex turns into love and marriage.

But still, at least those women are easy to diagnose and treat. It’s much more difficult to handle this question coming from someone you’ve been dating for a long time. Women in such a position usually ask this question because they have low self-esteem, or because their boyfriend is acting distant or selfish.

How to deal with it:
If we’re talking about the psycho chick, the answer is simple (albeit involved): dump her, cut off all contact with her, and change your locks.

If the question is coming from someone you’re in a serious relationship with, no amount of reassuring will make a difference: if words meant anything to her, she wouldn’t have bothered asking in the first place. The only real way to solve this problem is with money. Buy her something. It doesn’t matter what, so long as it’s more than 100 dollars. You can buy her a goddamn fishing rod made of peppermint, so long as you include the receipt to show her the exact dollar value you place on her love.

“Why?”

What it really means: I’m not sure, actually
I haven’t personally had a lot of experience with this question, but I’m told it pops up somewhat frequently. In the same way that toddlers refuse to accept a simple answer to a complex question by constantly asking “why,” women will do the same in an attempt to trick you into saying something that’ll make you look like a moron, so they have an excuse to verbally berate you.

How to deal with it:
As I said, I haven’t personally had any experience with this one, so I can’t be sure. Based on my limited knowledge, however, I would suggest simply leaving the room and doing something else: getting into a “why” conversation with a child only results in making the adult look like a moron, so who’s to say that the same isn’t true when applied to an adult female?

“Do you want to try new things?”

What it really means: “I want to know exactly how much of a pervert you are.”
The word “things” in that sentence refers to sexual experimentation.

While many women are, indeed, freaks in bed, they’re usually not the ones who ask this question. No, Superfreaks tend to be very up front with their sexual freedom, and will never even bother asking you if you’re into something. This question only comes from someone you’ve been dating for a while, who is curious to see exactly how much of your “I’m just a romantic guy who doesn’t just want to bone you” act is true, and how much is total bullshit (usually there’s more of the latter than the former).

Your lady will sound like she’s totally into any kinky sex act you’re into, right up until you actually tell her: once you reveal that your ultimate fantasy is to dress up like an Elizabethan merchant and have your fanny spanked with a wooden oar, your lady will most likely drop the act and yell at you for being the total perv you are.

How to deal with it:
Do NOT say threesomes. EVER. Say something quasi-naughty, but not depraved: suggest a schoolgirl outfit, or make reference to “role-playing” without specifically stating what roles you want each partner to play. Keep it vague, because it’s not like she’ll follow up on those desire anyway: after this question has been asked, your answer basically just serves as damage control.

“How come we don’t ________ anymore?”

What it really means: “You’re getting boring, and I am going to cheat on you next week if you don’t do something interesting soon.”
If you’ve managed to stay with a woman long enough to hear this question, congratulations: you have more patience and self-control than most men will ever know. This question (hopefully) doesn’t pop up until after a few years of dating, at which point every story has been told, every sexual position has been attempted, and you’ve gone to about a hundred different places on dates without managing to find anywhere interesting. You usually hear this after getting married, which means you haven’t listened to any of the above advice – in which case, we can’t really help you.

How to deal with it:
At this point, the relationship is pretty much dead. You can either do something drastic like plan a vacation in Venice, but the novelty of such a diversion will wear off shortly after returning home. Your only two options are to ride out the misery for years and years simply because you have nowhere else to go (like my grandparents did), or to find a really dramatic way of permanently ending your relationship. My personal suggestion: wait until you’re positive that your girlfriend is cheating on you (which, statistically, she is cheating on you), and simply catch her in the act. You’ll finally get an excuse to yell all those obscenities at her you’ve been building up over the years. And the best part?

You’ll never have to answer one of these questions that aren’t really questions ever again.

Publicado: 21:40 29/04/2007 · Etiquetas: , , · Categorías: Variedades
Creo que esto es un poco viejo, pero lo pongo aquí  por si acaso alguien no lo había visto todavía. La lista completa de sus trabajos está aquí










Descripción de la Wikipedia

Julian Beever es un artista británico dedicado a dibujar con tiza. Ha creado dibujos de tiza en 3D en el pavimento utilizando un método llamado anamorfosis que crea una ilusión óptica. Sus dibujos en las calles desafían las leyes de la perspectiva.

Aparte del arte en tres dimensiones, Beever pinta murales y réplicas del trabajo de grandes maestros del arte. Usualmente lo contratan para crear murales para compañías. Asimismo se dedica a la publicidad y el marketing. Ha trabajado en el Reino Unido, Bélgica, Francia, Holanda, Alemania, los Estados Unidos y Australia.

Desde el 2004 una cadena de correo con algunas de las obras de Beever ha estado circulando por Internet. El juego visual que proponen las imágenes ha sido confundido por muchas personas como producto de una edición fotográfica.

Publicado: 04:18 29/04/2007 · Etiquetas: , , , , , , · Categorías: Humor
Sacado de aquí.

br0kenrabbit says:
hi

Greg_ValveOLS says:
good evening

br0kenrabbit says:
What's ip?

br0kenrabbit says:
up?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team

br0kenrabbit says:
On MSN?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes

br0kenrabbit says:
Why?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information

br0kenrabbit says:
My information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?

br0kenrabbit says:
No. I don't even have it written down.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?

br0kenrabbit says:
Well...

Greg_ValveOLS says:
if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know. L

br0kenrabbit says:
Well

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dont worry this connect it secure

br0kenrabbit says:
Can I be honest with you, Greg?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
Look, I don't know how you go this MSN account name, don't really care, either.

br0kenrabbit says:
Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you'll see.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
huh?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
bs

br0kenrabbit says:
Trace it.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
how

br0kenrabbit says:
Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
oh k

br0kenrabbit says:
As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.

br0kenrabbit says:
I'm putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Have you read the ToS?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
Tod?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
tos

br0kenrabbit says:
terms of service

Greg_ValveOLS says:
were?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
I just told you why

Greg_ValveOLS says:


br0kenrabbit says:
I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I'm going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxx xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Is this you?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Are you the only user of this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay, and what is the username

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay.

br0kenrabbit says:
I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
some. dude

Greg_ValveOLS says:
m

br0kenrabbit says:
Do you always log on from the same IP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
And who is your internet providers, your ISP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?

br0kenrabbit says:
What is your city of residence?

br0kenrabbit says:
That depends on if you cooperate. You're doing fine so far.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Illinios?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
So I can update your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
can I play 2 nite

Greg_ValveOLS says:
clan fight

Greg_ValveOLS says:
wont win without me heh

br0kenrabbit says:
Heh. You'll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Give me just a moment.

br0kenrabbit says:
Try to log in now.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

Greg_ValveOLS says:
It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
did u ban me???????????>WHY

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Valve will never ask for your username and password.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what????

br0kenrabbit says:
I don't work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
omg dude wtf why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Why were you trying to steal my account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i wanst

br0kenrabbit says:
Then why were you asking for my information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i'm only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dude pleas

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Go mow some yards, bitch.

Publicado: 07:23 14/04/2007 · Etiquetas: , , , , , · Categorías: Variedades : Humor
Seguimos con otro video de Mario, esta vez una modificación del Super Mario World. A diferencia del personaje anterior, éste domina perfectamente los niveles, a tal punto de que se pone a hacer virguerías voladoras, malabarismo, gimnasia rítmica, nado sincronizado, zoofilia y más, mientras avanza por los niveles a la velocidad del pedo. Vamos, que es un maestro xD


Publicado: 04:53 13/04/2007 · Etiquetas: , , , , , , , , , , , , · Categorías: Variedades : Humor
Es que, esto, ehem, dios...los tags lo dicen todo.

Secreto: (Pincha para leerlo)




Fuente


Publicado: 16:43 02/04/2007 · Etiquetas: , , , , · Categorías: Variedades
Primero, las tomas que ha sacado Matt



Ahora, el homenaje de los chicos de Curioso Pero Inútil



Bueno, ya tiene algo de tiempo, pero, al menos yo, no lo había visto


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